We are planning to get married next year with a small gatherine (60 people). You would not believe the horrible, brat of a nephew that we have to deal with!! We both don't have anything to do with the parents (brother and sister-in-law) except for maybe 4-5 times a year for family gatherings. How do we state that we don't want this child at the wedding or reception - everyone else invited is happy to leave their tribe at home. This child would quite happily run up and down aisles and pick at all food/cake/flowers and parents do nothing!! Does anyone want my position instead or me ??!! Help !!
How do you leave children out of wedding and reception??
an adult reception will follow
EDIT:
maybe find out the age of the kid, and then on the invitation state only people above that age can come?
Reply:If you plan on not having any children at your wedding and reception you can just tell them it is adult only that everyone else has got a baby sitter for the evening. In our case we had hired a couple of people to watch the children in a seperate part of the church, that way all the kids could get together but no one had to worry about kids running around, and yelling.
Reply:you state on the reception invitation "Adults Only" If you don't want them at the actual wedding I suppose you could state "Adults Only" on the event invitation as well
Reply:I'd opt not to invite them. The most they could do is not send you a Christmas card. Even though my friend took the trouble to write adults only on the invitations and called to say they were on a tight budget with limited space, a relative still brought her brats saying that a wedding was for everyone. The kids were out of control and could care about a wedding.
If it ever came up, you could explain that you knew they couldn't enjoy themselves without their children present. Maybe they'll take the hint.
Reply:in the invitation just put the names of the parents, or who u want to specifically invite, instead of writing mr + mrs + family.. i think its understood, also for further clarification u can write 'adult reception'
http://www.superweddings.com/etiquette.h...
Reply:Oh man i am in the same sitation. Im getting married in july, and my step-brother has 2 horrible children that have absolutely NO discipline what-so-ever!! So we decided NO kids at all. maybe you can have someone that does speak with them, call them casually and just start to talk. then they can throw in something about your wedding then ask them.. hey by the way, what are you doing with your child? because there are no children invited? maybe that will work out. good luck, its tought but you need to keep in mind that its YOUR day!! good luck and congrats!
Reply:Provide childcare, problem solved.
Reply:I once received an invitation that said no children to the wedding or reception, no exceptions. There were no children there. It has to be directed at everyone.
Reply:I think I read in Ann Landers: hire a room and some people to take care of small guestlets and state the fact on the invitation. Else: quiet frank talk with his parents about your expectations for brat's behavior (maybe get your parents to do it on your behalf)--if they boycott your wedding in a huff, doesn't sound like it would be much of a loss
Reply:don't invite them at all.
or
be sure to mark the invite envelope Mr %26amp; Mrs...don't say and family and kids or anything of the sort, and don't be shy about telling them the child seems to not enjoy these sorts of things because he misbeaves and that you did not invite him, this is his or your brother if siblings can't handle it then don't invite them.
Reply:tell them it'll be real boring and there'll be kissing
Reply:Put the kids to work in the kitchen.
Reply:Look, no matter what you do or what you put on your invitations, you're going to piss someone off, so prepare yourself. Many, many people believe that weddings are about families. You will not avoid conflict with etiquitte on this one. There are a lot of well-meaning answerers out there who say its your day, and it is, but let's be realistic here. Feelings will be hurt.
Reply:A wedding reception w/out kids is boring.....it's so cute to see them running around in their nice clothes acting like monkeys....
Reply:To keep him out, you must keep them ALL out. I would have on the response card "no children under **". Fill in whatever age you need. If they bring him, ask them to leave. You probably won't be bothered with them ever again!
Reply:Let them know up front that your wedding and reception it is a strictly adult affair, and if they show up with the child, just as you would with any uninvited guest, have the wedding coordinator (or anyone other than you) remind them and ask them to leave. Also make sure that all guests know it is adult-only, even if you assume they'd be happy to leave the kids at home.
Reply:Just explain to everybody you are not inviting children because you expect a nice warm reception and thank in advance for them being understanding.
Reply:Tahts easy when u address it you say to mr and mrs so and so. To make sure that he doesnt come threre are a few things todo....
On the card write
cant wait to see you two there
or
so and so seee you there
Or call and be like we arent really havin kids at the wedding because it would be too hard and we wouldnt want to invite someand leave others out. and if u want to be extra nice be like so if u need help finding or paying for a sitter we can help u out. They wont care and even if they do it doesnt really matter that kid shouldnt ruin ur day
Reply:Simply state on the RSVP "No Children"
It's perfectly acceptable.
If you feel like that would cause major stress in the wedding party, then provide daycare and put on the invitations that it is mandatory for every child.
Miss Manners says it much better than I do.
Reply:Simply state on the invitations that is to be attended by adults only.
Reply:If all your other relatives are ok with leaving their children at home then by all means have an Adult only wedding. Just mention it at the bottom of your invitation..."adults only please". You could have a big party or bbq later on with everyone in your extended family, with children in tow, to celebrate your marriage. You only get into problems if you invite certain children and not others. Basically it's all or none!! Best wishes.............
Reply:It wouldn't be fair to let one person (child or child's family) ruin or take away from this very important day. With a child who is undisciplined, the attention usually ends up on them. And your wedding day should be on you and your spouse to be.
You are also paying a lot of money to have the ceremony and reception. You shouldn't have to pay more money to hire daycare, a babysitter, or another space for the children.
Sometimes it's hard with family and people putting pressure on you and making you feel obligated to invite people you don't want. But if someone is going to make you uncomfortable or unhappy or in some way distract you from the joy of your wedding, they really shouldn't be there.
Reply:Say brat kids not invited
Reply:You tell them to their face. They should understand especially since it's your wedding day!
Reply:Feelings will be hurt yeah but ... at least they won't ruin your one perfect day!!!!!
Reply:best answer since you only see them 4 or 5 times a year, why invite them anyway? Or send a special invite, your welcome to come adults only!!! Please find sitter for junior.
Reply:There are two envelopes to address when mailing wedding invitations. The outer envelope is stamped and contains the inner envelope. The inner envelope is where you put the names of the person/s you are inviting to the wedding. (Betty and Tom), (Mr and Mrs. Thomas).These are the only people that are invited. True, some people will ignore this and bring a friend, a buddy, a baby, their mother or grandmother and several children if they have them...or all of the above.
You can prevent this from happening by sending rsvp cards that specifically state how many people are attending instead of just a blank line that says whether or not they will attend. If they say 5 people are coming and you only invited 2 you will have to call and inform them that you're sorry they misunderstood that only they are invited because you can't accommodate three extra guests because of space restrictions. You don't have to ask if they are bringing the children or tell them no children are allowed.
Reply:Kindly tell them you wish not to have children, you can state it in the invitation if you'd like. If they choose not to come then it is their loss.
Reply:Weddings are an adult affair. it's that simple.
The invitation should state the invitees' names. They should know better. If they don't get the hint, flat out tell them no children are invited. It's your day.
Reply:Supposedly the etiquette states that when you address the invitations, leaving the children's' name off of the invitations means they aren't invited but for my wedding I found out that they just bring them anyway and act like they didn't understand. I have also heard of invitations that said right on them "adults only reception to follow" or something of that nature.
Also, if they do bring the brat, have someone (preferably someone who is not shy) designated to keep the bratty kid's family in line. One thing I also found out is that on your wedding day, your family will do what it take to make sure the day runs smooth for you.
Good luck- don't you just wish people could take a hint?
Reply:I have six children. I have also been married more than once. I know what mistakes to make. It is a mistake to not include everyone. Don't leave him out of the reception or not invite to the wedding. I know many people will give you advice such as, "it is your wedding do as you please". BIG MISTAKE. A wedding is joining of families. Find something good about this child. You are going to be related. Ask someone you trust to take a special interest in the child for you during the wedding and at the reception. Look, it is only a wedding. It is not the beginning or ending of the world... not even of your relationship.... but the seeds of discontent that you will plant will last forever... don't start off your relationship that way. I have plenty of other advice as to what not to do :) if you write.
