Ringbearer age....?

My cousin will be 11 when I get married. There is a chance he might not be able to come due to his dad not being able to make it (they live in a different state). I would like to have him be the ringbearer and my fiance's two nieces be the flower girls. I just don't people to think I'm stupid b/c he 11. How would this look? He does look his age if not a bit older (he is tall like his dad). My only other option is to have friend's of my family's son and daughter be it. They are the perfect age; they just don't mean as much to us (please don't take that the wrong way). Please be honest with your responses. The last thing I want is people to whisper about my little cousin or even me.

Ringbearer age....?
It is YOUR wedding you can have ANYONE of ANYAGE be in it. My sister's ring bearer was almost 10 and her flower girl was 3 ...Nobody said a thing it was HER wedding not the guests...if someone didn't like it then they didn't need to attend. Besides what the hell what other people "whisper"? Are THEY paying for the wedding?
Reply:I think that's fine to have him bring the rings to your ceremony. If he's uncomfortable with the title 'ring bearer', maybe you could call him a 'junior groomsman' instead. You don't *have to* have a ring bearer at all.
Reply:Say he's a jr. groomsman with an added responsibility. That's what my brother did at his first wedding, his ex-wife said I was a jr. bridesmaid with the added responsibilty of being the flower girl because I was 8 at the time and everyone felt that was too old to be a flower girl. If you want him in the wedding party, but are not sure about having him be ring bearer, see if a family member or friend has a little boy, like 5 or younger to be ring bearer, that way you can still include him and age won't be a factor
Reply:I think to be honest 11 is a bit too old for a ringbearer to be honest, but it is your wedding. I would suggest giving him a more important role in the wedding. He can:



- walk you down the aisle (on the opposite side if your dad is bringing you down)

-be an usher

-be the person who lifts your veil

-bring your bouquet to you before you walk down the aisle

or let him be a Jr. Groomsmen.



All those are good age appropriate jobs

But no matter what you choose, he will be a very special part of your wedding!!



Dont listen to the whispers, murmurs or what people think. They arent getting married- you are! Good luck and congrats!!



http://groups.yahoo.com/group/yourweddin...



Addition: A Jr. Groomsman is just like the older versions, except younger. And it is the same as having a Jr. Bridesmaid. They are part of the wedding party and they walk down and stand just like everyone else. The only thing they cannot do..lol..., is attend the bachelor party (unless it is a low key affair like bowling)
Reply:That's an okay age to be a ring bearer. Way too many people lately are having kids way too young to be ring bearers and flower girls! The girls you mention are good ages for flower girls. However, junior bridesmaids and groomsmen need to be at least 13 or 14 - it's not meant for kids to be in those positions.

However, you don't have to have a ring bearer or flower girl at all. We didn't have, and life was fine!
Reply:I think that's great. It's your cousin and he's part of your family which is nice. Plus you wont have to worry about him running off or picking his nose during the ceremony. That and, the ring bearer is really supposed to stand up there with the bridal parties until the rings are given. Since he is older this isn;t asking that much of him to stand still and behave.
Reply:In my moms wedding

the ringbearer was 13 so dont listen to neone

and my sister was 9 and she was flower girl!
Reply:There is nothing wrong with him being 11. It seems that the age of ringbearers seems to average a younger age but its your wedding. As long as he is ok with being the ringbearer then you should not question your decision. If you would prefer to be more "traditional" than you could use your family friend's children, but I see nothing wrong with 11. He's part of your family and that closeness does count for something.
Reply:I had the same problem with my wedding. My husband's brother was the same age. We called him a junior groomsman/ring bearer. He went with the flower girls down the aisle, but he also helped the older guys with seating and such. Whatever you do make yourself happy! I listened too much to what people said and I regret that. It is YOUR day!