Do I have to invite my flower girl's siblings?

My FG is my aunt's fiance's daughter (which makes her my future step-cousin...?). We picked her to be FG frankly because she is the only little girl we know who lives in state. She has 2 full brothers, and one half brother (who is my aunt's son)--ages 12, 10 and 7. Can we get away with not inviting these 3 kids, if we're inviting other (MUCH older) cousins and other kids (our 18 mo and 12 mo old nephews, due to our sisters' insistence)?





I mean, not to be a ******, but it's $85 per head! Not everyone can come, right? Right???

Do I have to invite my flower girl's siblings?
Yes, you can invite who you wish, but drawing lines due to step relatives versus blood relatives is not a good way to start a new marriage. tell your sister her young children are NOT invited. Only invite from a certain age up, and be consistent. And, as far as the FG, she goes home after the ceremony, too young for the reception. Don't be a doormat to Sis.
Reply:Have you really thought about what you are asking? Why would you want to leave the other brothers out?





Don't be greedy, ask the caterer for a kid's meal discount per head and suck it up and stop being a "******".
Reply:i was a flower girl once and my brother and sister weren't invited, because of that reason, i would say ultimately it is your decision
Reply:it's 85$ per PLATE, not head. let your sister bring your nephews. she's your sister for crying out loud! but you do not have to include children that tiny in the plate count you give the caterer.


as for the flower girl, you shouldn't have chosen her if you didn't feel she and her family were an important part of your special day. now that you have, the only way you can politely not include her brothers is if you don't invite any children other than the wedding party and immediate family (that is, the children of your siblings and your fiance's siblings).


to do this invitation-wise, simply put her parents' names and her name on the invitation. it isn't necessary to "disinvite" the other kids -- if their name isn't on the envelope it's understood that they're not invited. you may even consider sending the flower girl her own invitation. this doesn't cost much extra and it's a nice gesture to make her feel special and grown-up. when i was a flower girl (at age 6), they did this and i treasured it! still have the invitation!
Reply:Definitely look into kiddie meals at 50% off it is worth it to ask. It is after all only 3 additional kids. You should invite them to keep peace in the family. What if you have a kid by the time your aunt finally ties the knot, you would want your child invited. I know they are only steps, but I regret not inviting the two steps to my wedding. It was only two of them.
Reply:your right not every body can come and im am going though the same thing at the minute does your venue not charge kids rate for meals and here is the question why should one child be invited and one not whats the differnce
Reply:I think you should just not have children (except the flowergirl) at the wedding. It wouldn't be fair and then everyone would be demanding to bring their children. It sounds like you don't really want your sisters kids there, so put your foot down and tell her that no children are going to be there. Hire a babysitter for her if you must, it'll definitely be cheaper than $85 per kid.
Reply:no you do not have to invite them, i know everyone loves weddings, but really will they care if they are actually there. If they want them there that bad then mabye they can pick up the $85. That is pretty expensive. Weddings are for your close friends, family. The ones who will always be there for you.


Anyway good luck! Congrats
Reply:Good gravy, $85 a head! Your venue must be awesome!





I have to say, I wouldn't invite ANY children. Even those who are coming would be escorted to their parents hotel room and the older nieces, cousins, whoever would be assigned to their watch.





If that's not possible, do what I did: have a designated children's room, where they would have pizza, Capri Sun's, games, and movies until their parents came to get them. It made for a great party, because we were really able to have an Adult Reception. The parents had a blast and didn't have to worry about where their kids were because they were right down the hall. And, it was much less expensive then having them at dinner. (The room was a small meeting space with bathroom and wet bar, right next to the terrace. It cost $200 and we had 18 infants and children). Call me shrewd, but we even thought so far as to charge $5 per child because we had to pay for childcare at 1 adult per 5 children, but in the end we didn't end up charging. I would recommend it to any bride who wants to save a buck and have a great time.
Reply:no, you dont
Reply:No but I would make sure to invite the parents. :)
Reply:tell them they can come but byo food and drink....dont be so jabby
Reply:$85 a head? Wow, spoiled.





Proper etiquette says you invite all of the kids, or none of them. I would forget having a flower girl since it doesn't even mean anything to you (based on your reason for picking her), and not invite any children.





Alternatively whoever posted that you could have the flowergirl go home after the ceremony doesn't have a bad idea. And someone is insisting you invite an 18 month old and a 12 month old? Sorry, not their wedding. BABIES do not get invitations to weddings! Jiminy Christmas.
Reply:1. Proper Etiquette.


2. Think of the Children.


3. Everyone will be talking **** behind your back.
Reply:it does seem pretty cheap of you..although most kids wouldn't want to go to a wedding anyway..





it could go either way..they could be jealous or happy..or a combination since there are three..





just don't have a flower girl, easy..
Reply:I think you should invite them because they're part of your fiance's family.
Reply:You have to invite these kids too because they might get mad at you and make it hard to talk to them in the future. Your flower girl probably just doesn't like her brothers because most little girls don't like their older brothers.
Reply:if the two older siblings don't live with her i dont think you have to. they dont know you and you dont know them. you will need to invite the half brother b/c he is your family and how does the little girl who isnt gets to go just b/c she is in the wedding. Or you make a strick rule of no kids allowed unless in the wedding. if in doubt i would say to ask your aunt if it would be rude not to invite them. she is the middle person between you and the other family
Reply:That is a sticky situation. I would say either invite the whole family or don't have a flower girl. Most venues offer kids meals for a reduced rate, you could insist they all have to eat the kids meals.





Best Wishes and good luck with your planning!
Reply:I just got married in June and I understand it is like you have to invite everyone and their mother. As far as the flower girls siblings if they live in the same home as the fg I would think it would be respectful to invite them. Look at it this way, how would you feel (HONESTLY) if your daughter was someone's flower girl and her siblings who are your children were not invited? I think you need to and no I do not agree with having them pay their way.
Reply:I think it would be rude to invite one child and not her siblings.





Edit: If you and your fiance both don't want kids at your wedding, why are you having any at all?
Reply:You should invite the entire family. I think that's the proper thing to do. Ask the caterer for kids meals. Our caterer had them avaialble for children at a discounted price... in fact, they even had vendor meals available if we wanted to feed our photographers and DJ!
Reply:Dont let everyone bug out on the $85pp. Thats not bad, my cost is $60pp. I find there are lots of people from areas of the country where these prices seem ludicrous (for my area, my relatives are all astounded at how great $60pp is - LOL).


To answer your question, I think it would come across as rude to not invite your FG's siblings.
Reply:you could get away with it, but it would be nice to invite them anyway, so they feel included in the family and so the little girl has someone familiar there. if you are inviting the aunt and her fiance and your aunts son, you should probably invite his kids too.
Reply:Yes I really think you do as far as proper ettiquette is concerned. If you don't, you might make the flower girl's mom upset. I don't think it is worth it to cause potential problems on your special day. I realize it's expensive, but it is better to invite them and they not come, then to not invite them and people think you are being a cheapskate.
Reply:Rough one..it might have been easier to not have a flower girl. Your cater charges $85 a head for juveniles? Maybe you can find out if they have a lighter fare for the younger set if it is a sit down menu and definitely a buffet should account for children under 12 not eating as much.......
Reply:hey, do wat ya want


that may be expensive, but itz ur wedding... itz gunna cost money
Reply:its expensive but they may not want to left out, then again ITS YOUR WEDDING!! You have to pay and ultimatley make the decision. Kids that age don't even want to go to weddings in my experience, they find it boring and follow around their parents like sheep. I would say no, for the sake of saving £85 a head
Reply:I think it is fine not to invite them, just make sure you are clear about it with the parents, to avoid any misunderstandings. Make sure you explain to them that it is not a personal thing, just that you have to keep the costs down. I am sure if you explain it tactfully enough they will be understanding.


Also.....the boys I am sure would rather not come anyways. Weddings are really boring for boys of that age, they will be glad to miss out.


Good luck with it.
Reply:Why do you have to pay $85 a head for little kids who probably won't eat very much? Pay for "x" number of guests, and let parents know to bring snacks for their kids. Yes, it would be rude not to invite them. When people have big wedding productions, that is mostly for other people-- for showing off. Either be kind and invite everyone, or go it alone!


It bothers me very much when people don't invite kids to a wedding-- isn't that what weddings are about? Family?


Just don't get it!
Reply:It is up to you!

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