Thursday, February 9, 2012

How do you know when to end a relationship?

I was living with my beau before he moved out of state. I was supposed to go with him after he proposed. Now 4 months later, I am still not there and each time I was supposed to move he said he was scared and wasn't ready. Then when I'm not there he wants me there and says he's depressed and loves me and misses me. He sent me flowers for V-Day and told me that he was ring shopping, but just two weeks ago he flew out here to help me move and at the last minute he wasn't ready. All I've heard the last two weeks is that he made a mistake and he wants me there, but what am I supposed to believe? Is it because he's lonely, or does he really want me there? Meanwhile, my life has been on hold because of this and I am frustrated and fed up. I don't want him to be miserable, but I don't want to be either. I just don't want to make a bad decision. Please help!

How do you know when to end a relationship?
follow your heart.
Reply:Hmmm, sounds like he's NOT READY. And I hear a little ding ding of maybe messing around on his part in his absence from you. And not that you'd know, you're not there to keep an eye on the guy.



Perhaps you should drop him like a hot cake, cuz he's obviously insecure with his emotions and with you, and tell him that when he's ready to commit to come look you up and ask for your hand back. By that moon phase you might be hitched with somebody else who is ready and deserves you more. Or you might still be single and interested in him proving to you that he's ready by committing to a non-hitched relationship until you know without a doubt he's really ready. But hey, that's the risk uncertain guys take keeping their mates hanging, waiting for the final and true answer. You deserve a ready guy who deserves you. Don't sell yourself short by settling for anything less.
Reply:There are so many things to think about in this situation. Have you been together for a while? Why did you have to stay behind when he moved? Are you really ready to get married yourself?



I have seen so many people get engaged when the other party is leaving the state, country etc. Many times the person does want to be with the person, but is not ready for marriage. They want to "reserve" their mate until they can decide what to do. If you are ready to be married to this person, then let him know that you can't wait forever. If he continues to say that he is not sure whether he is ready, just keep your place and try a separation. If you guys are meant to be together, then you will be. If you happen to find someone new while continuing your life, then stop the limbo and move on. The years wasted on a person who doesn't really want you could have been spent with someone looking for what you want out of life.
Reply:I would just let him know that you don't want to live in limbo anymore, that he either makes up his mind, or you do a friendly split for a period of time. Marriage is a big step, and you both need to be positive, no doubts, before that step is taken, if it is going to be a successful marriage.


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