Thursday, February 9, 2012

Neighbor was just diagnosed with breast cancer, what do I do?

At 25 she, with her husband, moved from Taiwan to the United States, and raised their son, who is now in college.



She just told me that she has breast cancer.



What do I do?



Do I share with the other neighbors? Do I send flowers (not)?



How does the Chinese community address this type of thing?



Her parents are in Taiwan, and her sister is in Florida.

Neighbor was just diagnosed with breast cancer, what do I do?
Do not share, she will tell them if she wants. In the meantime, be suportive, offer to help, go with her to appointments if she needs that, find out what she needs. Everyone needs different things in times of crisis, some want to talk, some want to be distracted ,some want a shoulder, and some need help with everyday things, shopping etc.. Find her needs and be there for her, that would be my advice.
Reply:Take her a basket of treats.. specialty coffee, baked goods, ect with a book of positive quotes. If she has children offer to pick them up from school.

If the other neighbors are friends of her.. then telling them would only give her a support system.

Prayers should always be at the top of any list.
Reply:pray for her, offer to be there for her

offer to help her

DO NOT share with others neighbors, this should be a choice she makes.

offer to drive her to appts (if you can)

or offer to help her around the house or yard work.
Reply:I would not share with the neighbors. Let her tell them in her own time. And don't send flowers, that's almost morbid. When you run into her again just keep it light, you might during the course of conversation how she's holding up, but I'd say the best thing to do is continue the friendship and let her bring up the subject when she feels like talking.
Reply:Breast Cancer is not a big threat anymore. Cures are nowadays pretty standard.

Just encourage her to follow her treatment until she heals, and everything will be over.
Reply:I don't know about the Chinese community, but I can tell you about people in general. It's not your story to tell so don't spread it to the other neighbors. You can send flowers if you feel so inclined, but what will mean the most to her is to know that you're thinking of her. Also, if she goes on chemotherapy, she will probably feel like crap for awhile. Offering to run errands or bring dinner will be very appreciated by her (and her husband who will be busy taking care of her).
Reply:I wouldnt send flowers, they are related to death. I would personally bring them a fruit/nut/cheese basket of some kind...with a card.



I would also tell her that you are there if she ever needs you or needs help in any way, or even if she just needs to talk.
Reply:Visit her with some essence of chicken or a book that gives encouragement to cancer patients. Very likely she will tell you what she is comfortable telling and just give her a kind listening ear.
Reply:Do not tell other neighbors. That's her job. But be there for her. Cook a meal for them once in awhile. That's about all you can do.
Reply:all you can do for your neighbor is say a prayer.
Reply:First of all, NO. Do not tell neighbors. She'll tell the people that she wants to know.



I would not send flowers. Just be empathetic. Notice that I didn't say sympathetic. Be someone for her to talk to. Don't do a lot of talking yourself. Just offer your ear and any help that she may need.
Reply:my mom was just recently diagnosed with breast cancer and they removed all of it with no problem.



breast cancer is one of the easiest (if you detect it early) to remove before it spreads.



the problem for most women, which anyone could be empathetic toward, is the chemo-therapy and hair loss. For a woman, hair is a very large part of their natural beauty, and our society has firmly engrained the 'importance' of "beauty" into women's minds.



however, many people wear wigs in our country. even people with hair of their own, who just don't like their hair or want to be able to experiment with different styles depending on mood.



ultimately, this neighbor just needs your loving support and encouragement. not too much advice, just positivity in general.



also there are many sites on line where women can post their experiences and share with other breast cancer patients. this might be good for her, since no one truly understands what it is like, save someone who has experienced it.



motivate her to write her experience to help empower other women to hang in there for all the people in their lives who love them whether they have cancer, no hair or what...because true love is deeper than that, and sees no flaws the way society does.


No comments:

Post a Comment