Thank Everyone for all the wonderful Answers to My Wedding Nightmare!?

We no longer have this problem, my wife was diagnosed with cancer today, and will be starting treatments in July, so she won't be able to attend the wedding anyway! Now not only am I scared about our future, I am also very upset with my son's Mother who sent my wife flowers today that stated RIP BIT**, Hope you die soon!

Now what am I to do. There is no way I am going to sit by this crazy hateful lady at this wedding. This time she has went way to far! I do not want to dance with her nor eat by her, really even see her.

I also once again, don't want to ruin this wedding.

My wife took the card off the flowers and gave them to the elderly neighbor lady, who loved them very much! She still insist that I attend this wedding and be the bigger person, but I am really having a major issue with this now. I have talked to my son and explained what happened today, and all he could say was sorry.

I am so confused and upset.. I need some more of your great advice!

thanks

Thank Everyone for all the wonderful Answers to My Wedding Nightmare!?
I am SO sorry your beautiful wife is ill. My best to both of you!



I think to get through this one day -- after which you may never have to see your ex wife again -- you should repeat the mantra ``This is all about Ryan and Emma`` (the names I made up for your kids) and I think the whole blessed day of the wedding will go by so fast you will not even remember exie being there. Well only sort of.



Sigh. Oh boy. This is rough and bad as it is I find myself wishing exie was ill. Though it would be better to wish a fiery car crash. Of course for Ryan and Emma I don`t want any of it before the wedding. I honestly do not understand the dynamic of Ryan being an apologist for his mother.



Is there a mother of the bride in all of this? I am very weirded out that she and Emma are not dictating some of this to a point. Where did exie get all the power? I guess knowing the source will not solve your problem.



This is your son. You have to go to his wedding. Survive the day. Have a flask of Everclear or something else hard in your pocket.Only to take the edge off -- do not lose your senses even though running exie down behind the wheel of the limo sounds really tempting. Be the classy man your incredible wife married.



Seating arrangement. Seriously -- is there a mother of the bride you can talk to? You don`t have to share details of your relationship (used very liberally) with exie. Simply say your wife/sister/mother found something in an Emily Post where divorced/not together parents usually hosted their own tables with their relatives at the reception. And you thought that would be the best way to handle seating at the reception.



If there is no mother of the bride involved then find a way to sit down with Ryan and Emma at your place with no exie and say ``Listen. You know what has been going on. I am not blaming you or anything. I know you are swamped with this wedding and she is not probably making it any easier. The thing is -- after the thing with the flowers there is no way I can sit near her. I will sit farther back at the ceremony if need be but we have to redo these arrangements. Ideally I would sit 3-4 rows back with Grandma/Uncle Ben and Aunt May/Tom and Sally. Then your mother and all her posse can take up the front. I hate putting you in the position of choosing. I want to be at your wedding. And frankly I believe after all of this it is unlikely your mother would stay away no matter what she says.``



That is something I thought of. She is such an attention whore (not the greatest of her problems but it is certainly evident here) that I doubt she would stay away from the wedding. She might bluster and throw a fit and insist she will not go if she does not have her way but if you got Ryan alone and talked to him frankly man to man (even as it seems more like man to amoeba right now) and maybe call her on her bluff? It is not asking him to really be dishonest with his mom or incur her wrath.



She is full of real cruelty and venom obviously but she is also full of bullshit. Everyone cowtows to her because she is such a sociopath. You go to the wedding no matter what. You offer to stay away from her (duh) whatever but you will not sit with her or associate with her beyond what is ABSOLUTELY necessary to make the wedding happen. Those are your terms. And no -- you will not dance with her -- I have never heard of exes dancing at their child`s wedding. As far as your terms -- her choices are take them or leave them.



She will have an unholy fit that unfortunately Ryan and Emma will have to witness and will probably be audible from your house but in the end she will come to the wedding -- maybe throw a little pout -- but she will not be able to stand not having everyone see her there.



I am so sorry about your wife and the fact that you have to deal with bullshit when all of your focus should be on her. But you do still have a son and I strongly feel you need to be at that wedding.



You (your wife!) paid for the wedding and you are going to be there. Don`t take exie`s bait and don`t let her run her bullshit.You are not forcing her to stay home if you go on your terms. She can choose to come and be a good mother for one day if she wants to. She has made this so much about her that she will not be able to stay away and not have people see her in her dress and line up to congratulate the mother of the groom.



Take the stand to be there for your son.



Then come home and hold your wife like you will never let her go. My best to the two of you. If a positive attitude ever helped someone pull through an illness then your wife will get through this and come out the other side better than ever!
Reply:I only wish I could pick 2 best answers.. because A Nonny Mouse 's would be right up there too!!!

Thanks Report It
Reply:I am so sorry to hear this about your wife. I have no idea what to tell you to do about your wedding dilemma, so I will others answer that one.



But tell your wife to keep the faith and don't give up. She will be a survivor!



and you keep the faith too!



God Bless!
Reply:I remember your question very well, Hon and I was steamed for you for days.......



My wishes are for your wife to have a speedy recovery....she sounds like a real Class Act...your son has no idea what a gem he has in her for a step-mom.



Glad you finally spoke to that young man of yours..at least he has the decency to apologise.



Okay...attend the wedding....tell your son since your money %26amp; his step-mom's money went to pay for this extravaganza then you WILL be seated in the pew directly behind his mother...close enough to be recognised as the father of the groom but obviously not next to the piece of work he calls mother.....

...then tell him your place is by your wife...you regret not being at the reception, but when your wife is feeling better he %26amp; his new wife will have to come over for dinner.....then let it all go.



You see, the ex will use the wedding as an opportunity to jab at your wife every single chance she gets..let her deal with the empty seat....and her own hateful behavior....



You belong with your wife, Hon........good luck.