Is my anger towards my sister justified?

I am getting married in a few months. The problem is my sister doesn't like my fiance cause he didn't tell her she was pretty. And she is jelouse cause her relationship with her husband is rocky. My sister is a drama queen. And when I chose my best friend to be the maid of honor she threw a fit. She said that when I had problems with my fiance she fixed my relationship for me. All she told me to do is read a doctor phil book on relationships. I only read one chapter. I became a better person on my own %26amp; fixed my relationship with him. Now I had to choose my sis as my maid of honor %26amp; her 2 daughers are flower girls. I regret talking to my sis about my problems in the past. My fiance talked to his side of the family too when we had problems . Now my sister hates my fiance but she only met him 4 times because she lives in another state. Since she dislikes my fiance I don't want her to be my maid of honor or be our witness at my wedding. She'll get upset if I tell her that. What do I?

Is my anger towards my sister justified?
It's your wedding and your sister doesn't sound much like what a "real sister" should sound like.





Tell her to stop being selfish and to grow up. This is your decision and you want her support. However, if she can't support you with an open heart and an open mind, you are kindly asking that she not be a part of the wedding ceremony.





Of course, you will have to recognize that she could pull her girls as being your flowergirls, but again, if she wants to act like a child, there isn't much you can do.





If she gets upset, again, nothing you can do about it. If she continues with her antics, let her know that she is not invited nor welcome at the ceremony or reception.





You should be surrounded by love and friendship on your wedding day and your sis should stay away if she can't suck it up.





-EZ
Reply:yes, you have a right to be to be upset. your sister is very shallow and is jealous because her own marriage is not going well. it sounds to me like your drama queen sister likes attention. it is your wedding now, you must do what will make your day happy, even if it means no drama queen sister. i hope for the best for you all.
Reply:I think that was wrong of you to choose your best friend and then take prior arrangment and switch it because someone else doesn't like your choices. I would be hurt as a best friend.





You already said she is a drama queen and you are allowing her to continue to be one when you let her get her way when she stomps her feet.





Why would you want her to be a maid of honor in an event everything goes her way?





She doesn't even like the groom, yet you expect her to support you in your marriage to him?





Really think about those questions hun.





Who cares if she is upset if you tell her that. She is not respecting you, him nor marriage. You don't want her to be there due to her behavior. I suggest you read more of the Dr. Phil book. He touches a lot on this topic and would tell you to not dump your best friend for someone who doesn't even appreciate how much this day means to you.





Would you like your wedding day to be about you being upset over this or would you like your wedding day with your best friend, wishes from family and her not causing drama when she feels it isn't going the way she wants it?
Reply:Don't have someone as an attendant that you don't want - you won't feel comfortable. I, too, had an older sister who threw a hissy fit a few months before my wedding, but she wasn't in my wedding party. I'm sure both you and your man have learned to keep your problems to yourselves now!
Reply:Well first off it's ok to be mad at your sister. i am the yongest of four and am mad at my brother alot for little things but in the end it helps us not just as brothers but best friends to understand each other better. we always work through it. Second i think your sister needs to work things out with her husband before trying to do anything else. third i think you should call her and talk to her and see if you two can get through this.
Reply:It's your wedding. True, you should involve your sister because she's family, but it's YOUR day! You need to have the people that mean the most by your side.... if that is your best friend (she IS called your "best friend," right? :) ) than you made the right decision in having her as your maid of honor.





You don't need the added stress of your sister's problems on you at this time. Concentrate on yourself and surround yourself with the people that will support you and help alleviate that stress.





Most of all... enjoy this most special time in your life! :)
Reply:its your day dear! do what will make you happy and be less stressful for you. Your wedding is not there to please others its there for your memories and the begining of your new life togethor with your mate!
Reply:Yes, your anger is justified. You can have any one you and your fiance want in the wedding party. Don't feel forced to do anything. It's YOUR day. I'm sure your sister did what she wanted on her day. Since she wants to be a snob, go ahead and be a little snobby back. Tell her how it's going to be and if she has a problem with it or with your fiance, then it's up to her if she wants to come. My oldest brother didn't like the girl (for no good reason) my younger brother was marrying. They had a nice little fight about it too. So, my younger bro didn't want my older bro as his best man. My older bro went to the wedding, but was not in the wedding party. I think my older bro later regretted their little spat but would never admit it. My younger bro did not regret his decision.
Reply:if she loves you she should respect yor choice and support you.


Don't let her ruin your day for you. if she gets mad...oh well life is short. be happy now.


If you future husband does not verbally or physically abuse you then your sister should back off..but if he is not treating you right then maybe you should listen to her.
Reply:Okay, well first of all it’s your wedding, not your sisters I understand there are bad feelings between you but you should just be honest with her. Tell her that you want your special day to be a memorable one and that you know how she feels about your husband to be and therefore you've decided to have your best friend be your maid of honor. If she has a fit, which hopefully she won’t, you can tell her that that's exactly why you don't want her to be your maid of honor. Tell her you love her but that she should respect your decision.
Reply:Grow up, and just send her a letter and tell her she and her kids are not going to be in the wedding party and that this is a decision that is entirely yours and your fiance's and that if she doesn't like it, that she can stay away from the entire wedding. If she calls you and starts to argue...hang up. If she writes and is belligerent, put the letter into another envelope and return it to her with a short message saying that if she feels that way, she can just stay away from the wedding completely. Do not let her run your wedding and your choices. If you have a best friend that you want for your maid of honor, tell sis that she can be a bridesmaid if you just have to have her in the wedding. But, personally, I would not.
Reply:Believe me, if there are any issues with your sis DO NOT let her be your moh! I am really starting to regret having my sis as moh. She wants to make my wedding about her! Tell her the reason why she isn't your moh, be honest and stand your ground!
Reply:it's your wedding, if you don't want her to be your maid of honor - it's not for her to decide, you say she'll be upset if you tell her that, but will you be happy with her as a maid of honor?
Reply:so what?? sounds like she is never happy, this is your day and you tell her if she wasnt such a b*tch to your hubby then you would have asked her, tell her the truth, its not like she is doin anything but giving you more stress in a time where you arleady are stressed. screw her
Reply:it's your wedding, not hers (congrats, by the way!!)
Reply:i think your right.. she just wants to b ethe center of attention .. i have a sis like that too!! no joke..and she will get over it.. when and if i get married my best freind is gonna be my maid of honor but i will find something else that would let my sis partecipat in the wedding..is there anything she can do ? or maybe she can sit and the big dinner table with you guys if your having a reception!
Reply:What kind of sister would hate your fiance because he didn't tell her she was pretty? Where does she get off expecting compliments from your husband to be? Obviously, since her own marriage is rocky, she needs validation from outside sources. That's not your problem. It's your day, and you should be happy - not your sister. If she wants to throw a fit, let her. Don't let your drama queen sister spoil the day. If she is you're maid of honor and hates your husband, there will be most likely be tension at the wedding, and you don't need that. Keep your friend as the maid of honor and let your sister be a ***** if she chooses to be. Hopefully, later on, your sister and you can reconcile but don't let her spoil your day. Make her sit in the back row and pout by herself. Just kidding - sort of.
Reply:I think that you need to sit down and talk to her, hes going to be your husband weather she likes it or not. At the same time she is your sister and that needs to count for something.
Reply:my brother and sister tried to ruin my wedding.
Reply:Your wedding, your decision. Unless you have a family tradition, the Maid of Honor should be who you choose. My Best Man was my best friend and my brother was an usher. Maybe being chosen Witness would be a nice consolation for your sister...